Election: The mini mini series

by MATT QUARTERMAINE

STARRING identical twins John Howard and Kevin Rudd, Election: the mini series suffers from a shifting timeslot and a lack of plot development.

The novelty of this show is that the characters pop up in any number of television shows across all channels. Lateline, on the ABC weeknights at 10.30pm, is anchored by the third twin Tony Jones, who has a serious attitude, a razor sharp eye for detail and a propensity to ask hard questions. The zinger one week was Jones pointing out that Joe Hockey, a blustery minor character, portrayed the unions as irrelevant and dangerous. The 7.30 Report, surprisingly at 7.30pm weeknights on the ABC, is fronted by the serous bloodnut Kerry O'Brien, whose questions are long winded and often longer than the answers. He is dogged in his pursuit of a straight answer but he may as well try to get blood out of a Gerald Stone. Kerry really needs to dye his hair white and wear glasses to fit into the mini series design. John and Kevin also pop up in the nightly news programs for a brief moment to smile, growl or to suck harder than a toilet plunger at a portaloo convention.

The two mains are shallow, half written characters who spout economic mumbo jumbo and nationalistic platitudes. John, the older twin, is a shifty, grumpy podium thumping headmaster. Often appearing in a green and gold track suit, this octogenarian pauses briefly to shake a hand or slag off his twin and then power walks into the sunrise. Kevin, the younger twin, is a grinning chameleon. Mr. Me-Too, as he is nicknamed, appears more relaxed, but has all the attributes of a sniper; laying low until his victim appears, taking a pot shot and then disappearing into the undergrowth.

My favourite character is Bob Brown, although the writers could have spent a little longer thinking of a name for this bespectacled greenie. Sure Bob could do with whiter hair, but his dialogue is succinct and his character at least takes a stand on issues.

The bespectacled twins appeared at length in an episode called The Great Debate, which was neither a debate nor great. These two old warhorses stood at podiums and made promise after promise and then promised more promises. The banality of the dialogue and the self importance of the twins sent me diving for the remote to see what the real characters of integrity were up to on Australian Idol. The analogy of a cricket game was used when Kevin won the toss and decided to bat. If this episode was a cricket match it would have been called off because of bad light or the captains agreeing that there would be no result and it was time for cucumber sandwiches and a cuppa. Election: the mini series is a tedious exercise in self congratulation, sound bites, baby kissing and polls. This reality show culminates on 24 November when viewers will be asked to vote out the housemate they like least.

This story first appeared in Big Issue.

11 November 2007

australianrules.com.au

j howard or

One of the twins from Election: the mini series.

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