.jpg "Best of 2009... bah humbug")
Best of 2009... bah humbug
December 23, 2009
By
David Cohen
We kick off our annual Best Of series with something sobering from gormless reporter, union heavy and cultural boofhead Cohen.
Contributions from readers are welcome. It's always good to look back at the year past.
Tis the season to be jolly...
IT was a year which showed us the End of Days is at hand: the evidence:
August: If Winston Churchill had lost the Second World War twice, would the people of Britain have kept him in the top job? But this year saw Ricky Ponting lose the Ashes for the second time. How many goes do you get? How hopeless do you have to be? Do Steve Waugh and Richie Benaud mourn the tarnishing – nay, besmirching – of the Baggy Green?
October: One clown published by Penguin alleges the neologism of the year is generica. Imagine this writer's cruel disappointment when the best word he invented in 2009, Cottnest, was ignored by word wizards worldwide (Cottnest is the view you have of Perth from Thomson Bay).
April: J.G. Ballard dies aged 78. The brilliant author was too good for this world: his bizarre and sophisticated fiction was like no-one else's. The editor who first read Crash said its author needed psychiatric help – but Ballard was sane, while the rest of the world needed to spend time on the couch – as Perth discovered more than 10 years ago, when various politicians said the film version of Crash might have to be banned here, when they hadn't even seen the flick.
May: Daylight savings will never happen in WA – the same tired reasons were trundled out during the referendum, as well as a few new ones (the hayseeds said it could mean more road deaths). Right-thinking people were embarrassed to discover they lived in electorates that rejected daylight savings 60 per cent to 40 per cent.
June: On 96fm broadcaster Garry Shannon was discussing US celebrity Carson Kressley getting appearance money for going to a fundraiser for Victorian bushfire victims: "Greedy little poof", the broadcaster remarked, as he summed up Perth's generally high homophobia and uncomfortableness with anything different.
Sorry to be so gloomy on australianrules, but the Four Horsemen are about to thunder around the corner.
August: If Winston Churchill had lost the Second World War twice, would the people of Britain have kept him in the top job? But this year saw Ricky Ponting lose the Ashes for the second time. How many goes do you get? How hopeless do you have to be? Do Steve Waugh and Richie Benaud mourn the tarnishing – nay, besmirching – of the Baggy Green?
October: One clown published by Penguin alleges the neologism of the year is generica. Imagine this writer's cruel disappointment when the best word he invented in 2009, Cottnest, was ignored by word wizards worldwide (Cottnest is the view you have of Perth from Thomson Bay).
April: J.G. Ballard dies aged 78. The brilliant author was too good for this world: his bizarre and sophisticated fiction was like no-one else's. The editor who first read Crash said its author needed psychiatric help – but Ballard was sane, while the rest of the world needed to spend time on the couch – as Perth discovered more than 10 years ago, when various politicians said the film version of Crash might have to be banned here, when they hadn't even seen the flick.
May: Daylight savings will never happen in WA – the same tired reasons were trundled out during the referendum, as well as a few new ones (the hayseeds said it could mean more road deaths). Right-thinking people were embarrassed to discover they lived in electorates that rejected daylight savings 60 per cent to 40 per cent.
June: On 96fm broadcaster Garry Shannon was discussing US celebrity Carson Kressley getting appearance money for going to a fundraiser for Victorian bushfire victims: "Greedy little poof", the broadcaster remarked, as he summed up Perth's generally high homophobia and uncomfortableness with anything different.
Sorry to be so gloomy on australianrules, but the Four Horsemen are about to thunder around the corner.
Add A Comment
December 26, 2009, 2:16 pm
Nick
JG, brilliant, both in the short from and the novel.
Daylight saving? Yes, a bit of a bother, but what about the 'debate' about extended trading hours?
Labor- hang your heads in shame.